Direct vs indirect, and the first-screen test

The reader's reaction decides the order

Smith's rule for organising any message: anticipate the reader's reaction. If it will be neutral or positive — most workplace messages — use the direct approach: the main point or the ask in sentence one, support after. If the reader will be resistant, upset or hurt — a refusal, bad news, a request they will not want to grant — use the indirect approach: a short buffer, the reasons, then the point, then what can be done instead. Two orders, chosen by one question. The common error is not choosing indirect for bad news; it is choosing indirect for neutral news out of politeness — four sentences of context before a point the reader would have been glad to see first. That is not courtesy; it is a cost imposed on the reader.

The first-screen test

A practical form of the rule: on the reader's phone, without scrolling, is the point or the ask visible? If the recommendation appears on the second screen, it has been buried, however good the prose above it. The test is why the recommendation memo (module 10) puts the recommendation in its first paragraph and the email (module 9) puts the ask in sentence one — both are this lesson applied.

Worked example — the buried recommendation

> Over the past several weeks we have reviewed the history of the digital press, including the fourteen breakdowns recorded last year. We spoke with both operators and with the three key accounts about their delivery experience. We also obtained purchase and lease pricing from the vendor and a quote from a trade printer in Hamilton. Having weighed all these factors carefully, we therefore suggest that leasing a new press would be the most appropriate course of action.

The reader's reaction is neutral to positive — Priya asked for exactly this — so the order is wrong. The fix is mechanical: cut the last sentence, paste it first, and strip its preamble.

> We recommend leasing a new press: it is the lowest annual cost of the three fixes, it restores on-time delivery, and it adds no debt. This follows a review of the press's fourteen breakdowns last year, interviews with both operators and the three key accounts, and pricing from the vendor and a Hamilton trade printer.

The history is still there, in half the words, after the point it supports. Notice "having weighed all these factors carefully" vanished — it was an assurance (L7.2) standing where the reason should be.

The one case for a buffer

Had outsourcing won, the two operators would have to be told. Direct — Your positions will end on 31 January — as sentence one is correct in a legal notice and cruel in the meeting that precedes it. Indirect: a sentence acknowledging their years on the press; the reason, in facts (the accounts leaving, the repair costs); the decision, stated plainly, not buried; what the firm will do (notice, a reference, a word with the trade printer who will need operators). The buffer is short and honest; the news is still clear. The indirect approach is not vagueness — it is the direct approach with a preface for a reader who is about to be hurt.

The three-part message

Every message, either order, has three parts. Opening: the point or the ask, in one sentence (direct) or after a short buffer (indirect). Body: the support — one topic, only the detail the reader needs to act. Closing: the action wanted, by when, and how to respond. A closing that introduces a new topic ("Also, could you send the November invoices?") breaks the shape: the new topic gets lost behind the first, and the reader now has two asks and one deadline. New topic, new message.

Fix a second one

> Thanks for meeting on Tuesday. I found the discussion of the reminder options really useful and have been thinking about the training question you raised. I also looked again at the vendor's onboarding material. The dentists' meeting is on 28 March, as you know. I think it would make sense for you to present the recommendation there. Let me know.

Direct: Could you present the online-booking recommendation at the dentists' meeting on 28 March? The one-page summary is attached; the training question you raised on Tuesday is answered in its second paragraph. If you would rather I presented it, tell me by Friday and I will book the slot. Point, support, action with a date.

Type the shape cold

The snippet is the skeleton. Once it is automatic, a message that starts with history will feel wrong before you have read it.