Formality, tone, and objectivity

◈ 4 cards

Formality is set by the reader's position and your relationship, not by your mood; an angry draft waits a day; and a professional document gives facts and reasons, never preferences — because a memo may carry legal standing.

The formality spectrum

Smith describes style as a spectrum from formal to casual, and the position of a document on it is set by one thing: the reader's position relative to you, and your relationship. Anyone outside the organisation, anyone above you, and anyone at your level you have not written to before gets formal standard business English — full sentences, no contractions where the register is high, no slang, grammar followed strictly. A long-standing peer gets casual: contractions, a first name, a shorter shape. The document type carries a default: a report and a letter sit at the formal end; a memo is formal and objective (it is on the record); a business email takes the formality of its reader — formal to a client or a partner, casual to a teammate; internal chat and a text are casual by nature and wrong for anything that needs a record. The error the marker sees most is not too much formality; it is text-message register to a superior.

Worked example — three rewrites

Register. A junior analyst emails a Wren partner: hey — quick q, can u look at the lakeshore memo b4 fri? thx!! The reader is above the writer and the request is a work item with a deadline. → Dear Ms Achebe: Could you review the Lakeshore recommendation memo before Friday 14 November? The draft is attached; it is two pages plus the matrix. Thank you. Regards, Sam. Same ask, full sentences, a salutation at the reader's level, the attachment named, the date given. Nothing about it is stiff — it is simply formal.

Tone — the cool-down rule. The trade printer's quote arrives four days late and the analyst drafts: This is the second time your firm has ignored a deadline we agreed. I am not sure why we should trust your delivery promises either. Smith's advice is procedural: if you know the tone is angry, put the draft down, do other work, and reread it the next day; you will not feel as strongly, and you will not receive the reply that draft would have earned. The next-day version: Thank you for the quote. It arrived on 12 November rather than the 8th we agreed, which delayed our comparison; could you confirm that the delivery times in it are ones you can hold? We need that confirmation by Wednesday. The fact is stated — the date, the consequence — and the ask is kept. Facts, not temperature.

Objectivity. From a draft memo: I feel that leasing is the best way forward and I personally would not want to take on that much debt. A memo is a record: it is filed, it may be forwarded to the bank, and Smith notes that memos may have legal standing when they reflect policy or a decision. A record of a professional's feelings is worth nothing to a reader who must act on it. → Leasing is the lowest annual cost of the three fixes, $58, 000 a g ain s t$ 67,400 to buy, and it adds no debt against a bank facility Priya has said is a constraint. The claim is now a fact with a reason, and a forwarded reader can check it. "I feel", "I think", "personally" and "in my opinion" are the words to strike from any recommendation; the reader knows it is your opinion — that is why they asked — and what they need is the basis.

Rewrite two

"honestly the reminder thing is a no-brainer, the dentists just need to sign off lol" (to Tomas, the client's office manager, in a work email) → The reminder system is the stronger option on the no-show figures — about 12 % of appointments lost, against a subscription of about $1,800 a year — and it needs the dentists' approval by 28 March.

"I'm frankly annoyed that the vendor keeps calling — they should back off." (in a memo to Priya) → The vendor's representative has contacted me three times since 4 November about the lease quote. I have not shared it, and I recommend that all vendor contact go through Wren until the quotes are compared.

State the rules cold

Formality is set by the reader's position and your relationship; when in doubt, formal. An angry draft waits a day and comes back as facts. A professional document, and a memo above all, gives facts and reasons — never I feel — because it is a record that may be relied on, forwarded, and read in a dispute.

Where a document sits on the formality spectrum follows from the reader's position and the relationship, and the document type carries a default. Memos and reports are formal and on the record; an email takes the formality of its reader.