Three-pass editing, and the stage-5 plan

◈ 5 cards

Edit in three passes — substantial revision, copy edit, proofread — in that order; then write the stage-5 communication plan that turns a finished stage 4 into a document: audience, genre, order, the first sentence, the sections, the appendix.

Three passes, in order

Smith's chapter 5 puts substantial revisions first and proof-editing after, and gives the reason: there is no point polishing a paragraph you are about to delete. Olds names three stages — a substantive (structural) edit, a copy edit, a proofread — and this course uses the three, calling the first substantial revision (both names are in use). Pass 1 — substantial revision: the structure. Is the point in sentence one? Is there one topic? Does each paragraph carry one idea with a topic sentence? Is anything missing that the reader needs to act, and is anything there that they do not? This is the pass that moves a buried recommendation to the top and cuts the four sentences of history. Pass 2 — copy edit: the sentences. The 6 Cs and plain language — strike the words that do no work, turn passives active, replace utilise with use, split the twenty-five-word sentence, check that every claim carries its reason and no assurance stands in for one. Pass 3 — proofread: the mechanics. Spelling, punctuation, grammar, the reader's name, the dates, the figures against the source, the attachment actually attached. Doing only the third pass is the commonest failure: a flawless proof of a draft whose recommendation is on page two.

Worked example — one paragraph, three passes

> At this point in time, having reviewed the various matters involved, and following our conversations with the operaters and the three main accounts, it is our view that consideration should be given to the lease option, which we beleive would be the most cost effective, and the quotes are attached.

Pass 1 — the point is at the end, behind history; the attachment reference is a second topic tacked on. Reorder: recommendation first, the basis, then the attachment as support. Pass 2 — at this point in time (nothing), the various matters involved (nothing), consideration should be given to (passive, and no commitment), it is our view that (a hedge naming nothing). Rewrite: We recommend leasing a new press: at $58,000 a year it is the lowest annual cost of the three fixes, and it adds no debt. Interviews with both operators and the three key accounts support the reliability case; the three lease quotes are attached. Pass 3 — operaters → operators, beleive is gone with its sentence, cost effective would need a hyphen had it survived, and the quotes must actually be attached.

The stage-5 plan

A finished stage 4 is a set of decisions, not a document. The stage-5 plan turns it into one before the draft is written, in six lines — the same decisions as L8.1–L8.2, now written down for a specific piece of work. (1) Audience, primary and forwarded. (2) Genre, with the reason. (3) Order, direct or indirect, with the reason. (4) The first sentence, drafted — the recommendation for a memo, the ask for an email. (5) The sections in order — for a recommendation memo, the four moves module 10 builds: purpose line → recommendation → analysis by criteria → next steps. (6) What the appendix holds — the matrix, the calculations, the quotes: everything the reader needs to check the analysis and nothing the reader needs to follow it.

Grand River Family Dental's plan. Audience: Tomas Reyes (implements; knows the front desk, not the software); forwarded to the two dentists, who approve the spend. Genre: the email Tomas asked for, with a one-page attachment — one reader, a request inside a recommendation, no need for a filed record beyond the attachment. Order: direct — Tomas asked for the answer and it costs $1,800. First sentence: "I recommend the online-booking system with reminders (option C); it needs the dentists' approval by 28 March." Sections: recommendation and cost → why (no-shows, double-bookings, the two figures) → the referral-bonus disclosure → what Tomas does next, with dates. Attachment: the matrix with weights and the sensitivity line, and the vendor comparison.

Now Lakeshore's

You have the audience from L8.1, the order from L8.2, the register from L8.4 and the layout from L8.5; stage 4 gave you the recommendation sentence, the tickets paragraph, the risk table and the five steps. Write the six lines. The memo itself is module 10's capstone — this plan is what you will build it from.

Three editing passes in a fixed order: structure, then sentences, then mechanics. Polishing a paragraph before deciding whether it stays is wasted work, and proofreading alone leaves a buried recommendation buried.